Veil – a piece of often sheer or diaphanous material used to screen or curtain something or to over the head or face.
Hmm, Veil is a word that is used many ways. Whenever I heard the word, I always connected it to the veil on a hat, or a wedding veil. I never considered it to be a curtain or a thin barrier between two worlds, or that loved ones would actually move it aside, and allow us a peak, or a brief visitation along the way.
Considering I’m a writer this concept should be in my “plot twist” tool box. I guess I don’t think of the space between life and death or realms as a veil, I think of them as portals so the idea that I could move it a bit and look beyond, just never even crossed my mind until the last few years.
In 2012 I lost my father and a year later my best friend, then in October 2018, my mother. When things happen so quickly, you often feel there are things left unsaid, and you miss things like quiet conversation over a cup of tea, or comfortable silence while watching television. At the loss of people who have such a heavy presence in my life, I felt at a loss myself. I missed those moments that may not seem important to people, but they were to me. We didn’t do much for adventurous activities together or go out to restaurants or cafes, but what we did do was enough for us. I know others may disagree but to each his/her own.
Missing those that we lose is all part of the process of grieving. I miss those that I have lost deeply, I just don’t react in the way many others do. I truly believe I will see them again. That they are waiting for me in Heaven, and when it is my time to go, they will greet me with loving hugs.
However until then I will accept the peeks that they give me. Do I have those visitations others have spoken about? Hmm, maybe, but I never considered it to be the form of my deceased loved ones appearing to me at the foot of my bed, or walking through my house or property.
My visitations, (and I do believe these are visitations) are a gift from God. They are subtle, but I believe they are peeks “Behind the veil.” My visitations come in forms of dreams. Yes, dreams. I dream vivid, colorful dreams of me and the loved one I have lost doing an activity we did together on this earth.
My best friend and I used to sit for several hours, drink tea, and talk about our secrets our dreams, and our life. I have had several dreams with her sitting at my table telling her about issues I’m dealing with now over tea, and she would listen, nod, and listen some more. Was she a spirit coming to me in my time of need? *shrugs* I believe strongly she was.
One visitation we had, she was wearing a beautiful flower, flowing, skirt and a light white, silky blouse. She looked fifty years younger than I remembered, and the flower garden we were in was full of sunshine and White Roses, resting on the grounds of a beautiful white home with a screened in porch. It was the type of home; I knew she would have been happy in here on earth. The garden was so warm and peaceful that I didn’t want to leave. I enjoyed those visitations with her; however it has been a while since I’ve seen her. I do miss you, my dear, dear friend. I can only believe that she is enjoying herself cooking up in heaven. She loved to bake especially. I never saw someone as happy as she was preparing for a party or holiday meal. So I believe she is in heaven directing others for celebration feasts.
My Dad has only visited once in a dream, and we didn’t say much. It’s not one that I talk much about cause it was one that was confusing to me, however, I have had the sudden scent of Cigarette smoke fill my living room, when I was watching some of the shows we watched together.
I also believe my mom has come to visit me. She chose a small kitchen to visit in, not unlike the one her apartment had when she passed. There was a fine china tea set, sitting on the table with two steaming cups waiting to be consumed. She was sitting on the side by the window with rays of sun surrounding her, just as I would have imagined her. Elvis was playing in the background, and we chatted about things going on in my life now. I shared things I was doing. Despite her many issues and complaints, she was always interested in what I was doing, and that’s what we talked about. There was the feeling of forgiveness; hers, mine, ours? Who knows? It could just be the understanding between two people who may have had a hard time understanding each other on this side of the veil.
Were these dreams a peek behind the veil or were they just dreams to help me work out things in my own mind and grief. *shrugs* I can’t swear to either, but the conditions, conversations, vividness, and peace I received after having them, I kind of like to believe it was God’s way of giving me the closure, I needed.